The Stress of Stress is Worse than Stress: How to Build Better Coping Mechanisms

My Early Career Struggles

I've been working in the software industry for almost a decade now, and I've seen my fair share of stressful days. Generally speaking, I think I handle stress well — or at least that's what I like to believe! But the truth is, I didn't always feel that way. Early in my career, I would get overwhelmed by a million thoughts the moment something went wrong at work. Whether it was a tough conversation, a release that went sideways, or even a simple interaction with a colleague, I often found myself spiraling into a state where everything felt disappointing.

At some point in my career, this pressure became too much to ignore, and I knew I had to take action. I began researching on my own, talking to more experienced colleagues, and learning from experts. The key takeaway from all of this? It's not about avoiding stress — that's impossible. It's about how you cope with it. Stress, in fact, is a natural survival mechanism, and it's here to stay.

Coping Mechanisms that Worked for Me

Your Mindset Matters

When you encounter a stressful situation, your mindset plays a huge role. Are you looking into your toolkit of coping mechanisms, or are you trying to dodge the stress entirely? For some people, going for a run helps; for others, it could be a quick session of yoga, meditation, or breathwork. The important thing is to remind yourself that stress is a part of life and work. Let it be, use your coping strategies for the time being, and remember — it shall pass!

The Importance of Daily Habits

Your daily routines and lifestyle have a huge impact on your stress levels. Sleep, exercise, and diet are key pillars. I'm not saying you need to perfect all three, but without some level of consistency here, it's hard to sustain a healthy and successful career. These three are the foundation of your stress management framework — your infrastructure. Put them in the best state you can, and everything else becomes a little easier to manage.

Journaling: A Game-Changer

One habit I've stuck with for a long time is journaling. I don't journal every day because, let's be honest, not every day has something noteworthy. But when things go wrong, or when I'm feeling particularly good or bad, I write it down. This simple act has helped me identify patterns over time. I've noticed that many of the things I complain about have happened before — and often in similar ways. By journaling, I'm able to see that these moments of stress are recurring themes, and that in itself is reassuring.

Building CalmWays: Stress and Mental Health

As we're building CalmWays, our mental health app, we're constantly learning new things. Almost every piece of stress-related research we've reviewed highlights the importance of developing coping mechanisms and acknowledging stress as a natural part of life. Stress is not something to fear or avoid; it's something to manage.

But, of course, everyone has their limits. Stress is subjective. What feels manageable to one person might feel overwhelming to another — and that's completely okay. If you find that your environment is constantly causing you stress and you're not able to cope, it's important to consider a change. Your health matters most. But before making that move, make sure you've given your coping mechanisms a chance to work.

Take Action, Not Avoidance

The next time something goes wrong at work, remind yourself that this isn't the first time — and it won't be the last. Take a deep breath, rely on your coping strategies, and handle the situation. If it keeps happening and you find yourself unable to cope, then it might be time to move on. But before making that decision, ensure you've exhausted the tools in your coping mechanism toolkit.

A Highly Recommended Resource

I highly recommend watching Kelly McGonigal's TED Talk, where she discusses the importance of mindset when facing stress. She explains how viewing stress as a positive force can actually enhance your resilience and performance.

Final Thoughts

Next time something goes wrong at work, don't worry too much about the stress itself. It's happened before, and it will happen again. If it starts disrupting your personal life, then, by all means, do what you can to change your situation. After all, you spend about 40 hours a week at work — your mental health should always come first.

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